Holding on to the Tethers

Social Media Burnout, Impending Move, and Presales are Done.

I’m still here. I’ve been quiet. Here are a few reasons why:

Presales are complete.

The presales for the first issue of Novitas Magazine have ended. It was a huge success (in my books), selling just shy of 50 copies. I’m currently waiting for the Kickstarter funds to clear in order to ship them out. Huzzah.

If you’d like a copy, there are some available on the website at novitasmag.com. Bonus points because I don’t have to pay Kickstarter fees.

I’m also starting to record podcasts. I’m excited (because I love creating things) and terrified (because I’m worried it won’t be good enough). Shay, my partner, has agreed to sit down and chat with me for the first episode, introducing the project and the inspiration behind the magazine. I couldn’t ask for a better person to support me with this first episode. Shay has been there from day one and seen it all. Stay tuned to listen to our chat in the coming weeks.

We are moving in 15 days.

Writing that number down is a bit overwhelming. There is a lot to do and a lot to pack and a lot of boxes to check off lists. Moving is stressful, and I’m totally not acknowledging the stress.

There is also a fair amount of grief to process as we leave the place where we wanted to put down roots. We are moving back to friends and family, and this fills me with love and hope, but we are leaving open space and quiet and immense beauty—a simple life that has afforded us the time and space to reconnect with ourselves and each other. Making space for this grief without letting it take hold has been a balancing act, one that I am not managing well.

Social Media Burnout

Genocide continues. It’s Pride month. Starvation in Sudan. The UN recently revealed they could not independently confirm the US/Israel allegation that Hamas used systematic sexual assault on October 7. More boycotts and celebrity callouts. The US election. Stop Cop City. What is even happening in Fairy Creek?

I spend an hour or so on social media every day, usually early in the morning and late at night. I want to be informed and bear witness, but I can also recognize that I am super fucking burnt out from it all. And as Emme Monique reminds me in her piece for the first issue of Novitas, we cannot continue to pour fuel on the fire when we are burned out.

It’s such a strange experience: microdosing on dopamine while witnessing the unravelling of colonial and capitalist collapse. It’s fucking horrible and terrifying, but it’s a habit I've long developed that my brain looks forward to and thinks will make me happy. And it’s like I’m not even supposed to think about it or notice it because it’s too centering, and then I spiral out into a guilt cycle.

Social media burnout turns into life burnout because social media is just a reflection of life, right? Crippling depression is just a heartbeat away, but my tethers keep me holding on.

I am surviving on good fiction, fresh lemon balm tea from the garden, and leaning into my family ties. I am holding my breath as I get through these last two weeks before a major life shift. The exhale is coming, though, and I promise I’ll be back soon.