On being a small bean in a big world.
What does capacity look like when building post-capitalist structures from within capitalism? Also: Novitas Issue 3 annoucement!
Ok ok ok, I’m here. I didn’t want to write a post about why I’m having a hard time writing a post, but honestly, there’s so much going on. The lack of writing isn’t due to a lack of content in my brain. Sometimes, though, that brain-content just doesn’t congeal into a tidy, one-page, consumable post with a pithy headline—so I’m trying to make space for that reality.
Here’s the truth: I started working a 9-5 (technically 8–4), and devoting my brainpower and energy to a j-o-b has made it hard to make time for much else. Surprising? No, not at all. But still disorienting. It’s wild how quickly my days filled up and how fast my creative time disappeared, how fast I started to feel like someone I don’t recognize, just getting through the day and hoping for a sliver of energy left over at night.
I could write about how a capitalist system doesn’t make room for us to do the work to dismantle it but you already know that. I could write about the guilt I feel for not having the capacity to do “all the things” but I’m guessing you probably know that one too.
So I’m taking my lunch break to say two things I’ve been reminding myself of lately:
If you don’t have the capacity to take down capitalism while simultaneously surviving within it, that does not make you a bad person.
The idea that we should be able to both deconstruct oppressive systems and sell our labour just to stay alive is pure nonsense. No wonder we’re all burnt out and depressed. It’s not a failure—it’s the inevitable result of trying to live meaningfully inside a system that was never designed to sustain us.You are a small bean in a big world. And that’s not only okay—it’s necessary.
You’re not supposed to carry the whole weight of transformation. The work that must be done has to be done together. If you, small bean that you are, can hold even a tiny piece of this work—in your community, your network, your corner of the movement—that is enough. That’s the right amount of work given the context we live in.
With that in mind, I have some announcements to make:
The Novitas podcast is on hold.
I love talking with people and sharing their stories—but I simply don’t have the time or capacity right now to make good quality content. And if I can’t make it with care, I don’t want to make it at all. Will it come back someday? Maybe. I have a saying: All deadlines are self-imposed. And I’m standing by that one for the time being.
Novitas: Issue 3 is changing format.
For those who are new here: Novitas is a print publication that shares stories of post-capitalism. It exists to help you say “Yes, I can!” and to plug into the wide network of people doing the work of building new systems grounded in collective liberation.
Up until now, each issue has featured stories from people all over the world doing all kinds of work. But starting with Issue 3, each edition will center around a theme, weaving a common thread through every piece. The goal? To dig deeper. To explore what a post-capitalist culture might look like from one specific angle—one layer at a time.
Thank you for being here. for being present as I learn how to navigate my new lived reality of being almost always burnt out.
I make a solemn vow to stay in this space. To keep talking about the things I believe matter. To hold fast to the dream that building a new world does require momentum and courage—but not martyrdom. I will keep holding space for everyone who’s struggling to exist inside a broken system, recognizing its brokenness, and still doing what they can to contribute to something better.
Let’s keep showing up for each other. Imperfectly as works in progress. <3
thank you for this, full of good reminders. <3
You’re doing so much!!! Great lil read. ( also I meant to vote alternative economies but I also love the mutual aid and solidarity idea )