The Farce of Representative Democracy, Self Imposed Rules, and Being a Tree
I have many things to write about so I’m going to write about them all because they are all fresh in my mind and if I leave them too long, they will be lost in the ether.
Voting
Last week was an election in Ontario, but before I get into that, let me step back for a moment.
I, as a good citizen, have always voted. Every election that I’ve been eligible to vote in, I have dutifully cast a ballot. Almost every year, I have voted with my heart, learning about the platforms of each political party, reading up on hot button issues, watching the gong show that is leader debates on TV, sometimes even making it a social event with friends and beer.
I say almost every year because one year, I voted out of fear. That election, I cast a ballot for a party I did not support and a leader that I did not trust because everyone was telling me that I needed to do so in order to keep the opposing party out of a leadership, so I did. I remember the feeling of my gut rolling over and my throat closing up afterwards because I felt ashamed: ashamed of breaking the rules the system, ashamed of being a sheep. My vote was relatively useless, the candidate in my riding did indeed win as they were projected to. But the opposition ended up with a majority government anyway.
Fast forward to this election.
I have come a long way since those days of watching televised leader debates with friends and beer. These days, the debates literally make me feel sick to my stomach. I’ve seen through the farce and joke of representational democracy. I believe now that it is a broken system, putting too much power in the hands of too few that don’t really represent anyone other than themselves and their own quest for power. Politicians get paid an exorbitant amount of money and are continually lobbied by industry with deeply-lined pockets which prevents any honesty or true progress from being made. As a result, we are headed for a global collapse on the back of the men and women who claim to save us. Neoliberalism is rampant and our system of government, including the first-passed-the-post election system only will perpetuate this continued collapse.
Whew, okay. Geting a bit worked up here. So, back to election day last week.
My partner gave me some sideways glances when I said I wasn’t sure if I was going to vote or not, and it was only when I actually had the sharpie in hand hat I made the decision between spoiling my ballot or voting for the party that almost might maybe come close to representing my political position. I did the later, and walked out of that public school with that same rolling gut and tight throat as when I voted strategically out of fear.
It was then that I realized: I have absolutely no faith left in our system of government. It will not save us. It will barely even help most of us. Change will only happen from the ground up. And maybe government will catch up to the demands of the people if we can enact change en masse, but there’s no sense in waiting for change to come down from the top.
Next election, I will likely spoil my ballot. I will encourage others to do the same. I will also dedicate more time, more energy, and more money (if I have it) to help build a more resilience, safe community for those around me.
Unschooling Self Regulation?
Remember when I used to write about unschooling? It’s been a hot minute but it’s time to check in on a major event in our unschooling lives.
To recap quickly, we don’t have any restrictions on screen time in our family. Shit, we don’t really have many restrictions at all. My kids help decide the rules which are usually very fluid and we are all flexible enough to meet the needs of whatever situation we happen to be facing at that particular moment in time. For this reason, I don’t really believe in hard rules. We’ve tried a few times: no screen time afternoon, only video games when you’re playing with friends, etc. They always get overturned within the week because life is variable and unpredictable.
But last night, my oldest and I had a pretty big conversation. We talked about personal connection, about sibling fighting (which has been on the rise for the last month or so), about getting off the couch more and out into the world, and about set bedtimes, and about limited videogame/youtube screen time.
I want to be 100% clear: I did not ask him for any of these things. I know the conflict they bring. He asked me for them. I am nervous.
Perhaps this is some form of the self-regulation that people keep going on about in unschooling? We are three and a half years into deschooling and unschooling and I honestly never thought self-imposed rules would be a part of our journey.
But here we are.
The internet will get turned off at midnight. We will do some planned activity at 1pm. Three hours of XBox time on weekdays, four on weekends, including gaming and watching YouTube.
Do I sound apprehensive? I am. But I’m willing to give it a try and see what happens. Fingers crossed..
New Moon Meditations
I’m back to setting new moon intentions and I’m trying to be a bit more vigilant on keeping them top of mind. I thought I would share the process I went through this month when setting my intention: to be like a tree. (Phrase totally stolen from a wise friend.)
I used to set up a candle and meditate on my intentions more formally. Quiet time in a space by myself, the lights low, clearing my mind with breathing exercises, etc. More often than not now, I look at my day planner and am surprised to see another month has passed and it’s time to set a new intention. I rarely have time or spoons to do such a formal meditation but I always have time for reflection.
These days, my meditation involves gazing out the window and just checking in with myself. I think about the previous intention that I set and whether I’m satisfied to move on to something new or if there’s maybe more information that I still need to process. I think about topics or issues that have been holding space in my brain. I think about my own mental health. I think about my relationships with friends and family and community. I think about what I might benefit from by spending a more time focusing on. The whole process ususally only takes about 5-10 minutes and I’m able to suss out a new intention that feels good.
This past new moon, I was thinking a lot about simple practice that keeps me grounded. I’ve been thinking about the “mundane” tasks that I have to do regularly, trying to keep in mind that these are the tasks that I choose to do. As per my last post, I’ve been working on finding more intention and joy in those tasks.
I’ve also been thinking about keeping myself grounded. It seems, too often, that I spend time dreaming of “what’s next” - should we consider a move? should I dedicate my time to a new endeavour? how do I make my life bigger and better than it is right now? I realized that this constant gaze forward prevents me from staying aware of the present. It’s hard to be intentional when I’m always planning what might be next. Instead, I want to use this slow work as grounding practice to keep me present.
These thoughts brought up an image of a giant tree, watching the seasons come and go, sending seedlings down to the forest floor to start the next generation; the tree for which life is much longer, and I imagine that time must move more slowly; the tree that sends it’s roots deep down into the Earth, connects with other trees and plant life, who’s only task is to live in the present.
I don’t know for sure, but it doesn’t seem to be that trees dream of the future. I imagine that they are quite content to live in the present and are intentional about their everyday “mundane” actions. These are qualities that I wish to exemplify. To be like a tree.