I grew up in the magical decade of the 1980s, part of a generation between generations. They call us Xennials - that handful of years between Gen X and Millenials that often gets left out of the conversation. We were the last generation to have an analog childhood, and the first to have home computers and cellphones in our teens.
I read an article quite along time ago about the death of children's culture. The essay talked about how it can only exist of the children are unmonitored by an adult. It went on to talk about how children were not learning really important things because they were never left alone in a group.
Much of what you write about here struck a chord with me. Thanks for writing.
I studied the loss of children's culture in sociology class and have mixed feelings about it. I think children deserve privacy and agency, but at the same time, children are plied away from their caregivers (and the attachment bonds between them) partly to make way for corporate influence. Candy is a common example of an artifact of so-called "children's culture," while it's made by adults and exclusively for adult profit. I'd definitely be curious to hear more about the important things kids aren't learning when left alone with peers, though.
I went to the University of Southern California. It was in a class with Karen Sternheimer that I was introduced to the concept of "children's culture." She was a big advocate for it and has written books about it.
Agree about digital marketing... This is one of the reasons our family has YouTube Premium. Since the post-second war period and the emergence of the middle class, children have become a major consumer group and corporations have not missed the opportunity to influence and profit. I don't reject all consumerism by any means but it's nice to be aware of our vulnerabilities and hungers so that we can choose how to engage with the culture.
From what I remember they mostly learn how to solve problems as a group. When adults are around and a problem arises, they have a tendency to swoop in and mediate, which doesn't really help the kids to figure it out for themselves.
Love this topic a lot and I'm very passionate about it. Our kiddos were lucky enough to be raised in a community with very low-income families. Most kids were expected to play outside after school and after dinner. Our kids joined in with the rest until middle school age. The yards were communal, the sidewalks and streets were fair play for all manner of child activities. Street hockey, grounders, tag, skip rope, lemonade stands, garage sales, water fights, dog walking etc... The streets were our children's place of independence. The adults were not outside keeping watch, though we were always within eye/ear reach if ever a problem developed. Food was offered freely. Sleep-overs, birthday parties, outings…so much of life was shared. It really was an 80's style of childhood over here. Much of that changed as they got older. But we always remarked on how income levels really informed parenting practices. Most of the parents were single and much more reliant on the community. Most of us were struggling financially and couldn't afford to take our kids out of the city or sign them up for a myriad of after-school classes. This reserved lifestyle fostered inter-dependance. I'm so grateful for it.
It's interesting that class plays into it. We were definitely upper class but had the same experience back then. I just find it so odd that we wouldn't lean on each other more, especially as single parents living paycheque to paycheque. I'm glad your kids got a taste though! How do you think it's changed as they've gotten older?
It was a definite shift when they became tweens. The desire to be out on the streets, corner stores or hanging with friends really changed at the same time as the pandemic hit. I'm not sure if it's a gender thing but the individuation started to really come to the forefront. Separating and differentiating and not wanting to do the same things their neighbour friends were up to. I think as younger kids, the differences were not as obvious. But as they matured, they couldn't go deeper with them. Does that make sense? Also, in our part of the city we experience a lot of transience and so people don't stay around for a long time. That makes it really hard. It's hard to reply in a short bubble!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this! I am also struggling to form a community where I live but the culture here (in Sweden) is very reliant on institutionalised childcare and education. Swimming upstream with you!
Thanks Maria - I think the struggle exists in so many places around the world. Another topic Meghan and I were chatting about is how colonial culture is so wide spread at this point but shows up in different cultures in different ways.
Made me reflect a lot. Echoing what Maria said, I think socio economics have a big effect on this. When chatting to my Mum recently (she very much comes from an uptight middle class English background), she still prides herself on being friendly with the neighbours but ‘not being in each other’s pockets’. You could chat politely about the weather on the doorstep but you would rarely ever enter someone’s house unless explicitly invited in advance. Being too close to people was somehow perceived (by her) as only something common people do.
I remember as a kid loving if I went over to a friend’s house and we were ‘allowed’ to just play out in the street with neighbours. It just wasn’t really something we ever did around our house. Partly because my mum wasn’t very easy going or social and partly because we lived in the countryside not that close to other houses.
Totally agree. We've lived in a neighborhood where kids play freely and was the best thing for me as a solo parent. That's how I was able to build an online business when my daughter was 3. Kids are so busy these days, play dates are scheduled weeks in advance, and I've also taken people's unavailability personally because I didn't see why other families genuinely wouldn't want the same thing that we do. Like, can't you see I'm trying to build a village here!?
I read an article quite along time ago about the death of children's culture. The essay talked about how it can only exist of the children are unmonitored by an adult. It went on to talk about how children were not learning really important things because they were never left alone in a group.
Much of what you write about here struck a chord with me. Thanks for writing.
Cheers.
I studied the loss of children's culture in sociology class and have mixed feelings about it. I think children deserve privacy and agency, but at the same time, children are plied away from their caregivers (and the attachment bonds between them) partly to make way for corporate influence. Candy is a common example of an artifact of so-called "children's culture," while it's made by adults and exclusively for adult profit. I'd definitely be curious to hear more about the important things kids aren't learning when left alone with peers, though.
The corporation of childhood! I hadn't even considered. New levels when we explore digital marketing as well.... Where did you study?
I went to the University of Southern California. It was in a class with Karen Sternheimer that I was introduced to the concept of "children's culture." She was a big advocate for it and has written books about it.
Agree about digital marketing... This is one of the reasons our family has YouTube Premium. Since the post-second war period and the emergence of the middle class, children have become a major consumer group and corporations have not missed the opportunity to influence and profit. I don't reject all consumerism by any means but it's nice to be aware of our vulnerabilities and hungers so that we can choose how to engage with the culture.
Intentionality is where it's at. Thanks for the references!
From what I remember they mostly learn how to solve problems as a group. When adults are around and a problem arises, they have a tendency to swoop in and mediate, which doesn't really help the kids to figure it out for themselves.
That is definitely super valuable! Great example of what goes wrong when adults micromanage every aspect of kids' lives.
Love this topic a lot and I'm very passionate about it. Our kiddos were lucky enough to be raised in a community with very low-income families. Most kids were expected to play outside after school and after dinner. Our kids joined in with the rest until middle school age. The yards were communal, the sidewalks and streets were fair play for all manner of child activities. Street hockey, grounders, tag, skip rope, lemonade stands, garage sales, water fights, dog walking etc... The streets were our children's place of independence. The adults were not outside keeping watch, though we were always within eye/ear reach if ever a problem developed. Food was offered freely. Sleep-overs, birthday parties, outings…so much of life was shared. It really was an 80's style of childhood over here. Much of that changed as they got older. But we always remarked on how income levels really informed parenting practices. Most of the parents were single and much more reliant on the community. Most of us were struggling financially and couldn't afford to take our kids out of the city or sign them up for a myriad of after-school classes. This reserved lifestyle fostered inter-dependance. I'm so grateful for it.
It's interesting that class plays into it. We were definitely upper class but had the same experience back then. I just find it so odd that we wouldn't lean on each other more, especially as single parents living paycheque to paycheque. I'm glad your kids got a taste though! How do you think it's changed as they've gotten older?
It was a definite shift when they became tweens. The desire to be out on the streets, corner stores or hanging with friends really changed at the same time as the pandemic hit. I'm not sure if it's a gender thing but the individuation started to really come to the forefront. Separating and differentiating and not wanting to do the same things their neighbour friends were up to. I think as younger kids, the differences were not as obvious. But as they matured, they couldn't go deeper with them. Does that make sense? Also, in our part of the city we experience a lot of transience and so people don't stay around for a long time. That makes it really hard. It's hard to reply in a short bubble!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this! I am also struggling to form a community where I live but the culture here (in Sweden) is very reliant on institutionalised childcare and education. Swimming upstream with you!
Thanks Maria - I think the struggle exists in so many places around the world. Another topic Meghan and I were chatting about is how colonial culture is so wide spread at this point but shows up in different cultures in different ways.
Thanks for sharing.
Made me reflect a lot. Echoing what Maria said, I think socio economics have a big effect on this. When chatting to my Mum recently (she very much comes from an uptight middle class English background), she still prides herself on being friendly with the neighbours but ‘not being in each other’s pockets’. You could chat politely about the weather on the doorstep but you would rarely ever enter someone’s house unless explicitly invited in advance. Being too close to people was somehow perceived (by her) as only something common people do.
I remember as a kid loving if I went over to a friend’s house and we were ‘allowed’ to just play out in the street with neighbours. It just wasn’t really something we ever did around our house. Partly because my mum wasn’t very easy going or social and partly because we lived in the countryside not that close to other houses.
Lots of factors in there! Class for sure, rural for SURE (we're living this right now...), and introverted mama's for sure too :)
Totally agree. We've lived in a neighborhood where kids play freely and was the best thing for me as a solo parent. That's how I was able to build an online business when my daughter was 3. Kids are so busy these days, play dates are scheduled weeks in advance, and I've also taken people's unavailability personally because I didn't see why other families genuinely wouldn't want the same thing that we do. Like, can't you see I'm trying to build a village here!?