When you become an unschooling parent, there is an extra thick layer of armor that you must instantly apply to protect yourself from the judgement of others.
Hello, Kel! Thank you for your comment on my and Chris's (totally neglected) unschooling Substack. I just got the chance to read your latest post and let your words sink in. Really appreciate how thoughtful you were in explaining the difficulty of dealing with a family member who seems to be circumventing your authority as a parent. Even just typing that makes me roll my eyes and feel a little crazed -- I totally know people who would do that in my own life (mainly Chris's side). Your kids are truly benefitting from your patience and you learning with them! This I have to remind myself as our oldest, who's only 4.5 years, continues to ask questions and I have to actually think about my answers when the knee-jerk reaction, in another family under different circumstances, might have been "Because I said so."
Hey Amy! Thanks for checking out the post. Your comment was interesting because the "authority" term definitely struck a chord. As I've unpacked my feelings, I've recognized that I definitely was reacting to the family member's lack of trust but yes, there is definitely a feeling of authority that I'm holding on to over my son! When I realized that I was reacting to my emotional response rather than how my son was feeling, which allowed me to calm down a bit and ask him how he was feeling about all of it. (He hates it, which I anticipated but I should have done that before reacting, right?!)
I heard some unschooling parent say that you have to pretend that you only have so many "no"s in a week so you have to reserve them for when it really matters! The "Because I say so"s are kind of the same too. Sometimes I have to pull out a "you'll have to trust me in this moment because there's too much to explain" but it holds a lot more weight because I don't do it often, ya know?
Hello, Kel! Thank you for your comment on my and Chris's (totally neglected) unschooling Substack. I just got the chance to read your latest post and let your words sink in. Really appreciate how thoughtful you were in explaining the difficulty of dealing with a family member who seems to be circumventing your authority as a parent. Even just typing that makes me roll my eyes and feel a little crazed -- I totally know people who would do that in my own life (mainly Chris's side). Your kids are truly benefitting from your patience and you learning with them! This I have to remind myself as our oldest, who's only 4.5 years, continues to ask questions and I have to actually think about my answers when the knee-jerk reaction, in another family under different circumstances, might have been "Because I said so."
Hey Amy! Thanks for checking out the post. Your comment was interesting because the "authority" term definitely struck a chord. As I've unpacked my feelings, I've recognized that I definitely was reacting to the family member's lack of trust but yes, there is definitely a feeling of authority that I'm holding on to over my son! When I realized that I was reacting to my emotional response rather than how my son was feeling, which allowed me to calm down a bit and ask him how he was feeling about all of it. (He hates it, which I anticipated but I should have done that before reacting, right?!)
I heard some unschooling parent say that you have to pretend that you only have so many "no"s in a week so you have to reserve them for when it really matters! The "Because I say so"s are kind of the same too. Sometimes I have to pull out a "you'll have to trust me in this moment because there's too much to explain" but it holds a lot more weight because I don't do it often, ya know?